Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Genius Comes Clean Regarding Vampires

Okay. I’ll admit it. I’ve been holding out on you all.
Anne Rice often used the word preternatural to describe vampires rather than supernatural. Which is to say in her opinion vampires were other than natural rather than better than natural. A rose by any other name…
The truth of the matter is that though they appear human in every aspect except one (no don’t raise your hand. Everyone knows the physiological difference), they are capable of feats ordinary humans are not.
I already alluded to their ability to hear much better than humans and I hinted that they could insert thoughts into human minds.
Many of you, at this point, will assume I got dropped on my head as a child or have a mental disease. Neither are true, other than a depression I’m working through.
The defense wishes to enter into evidence a photograph we would like to mark as Defense exhibit A.
Defense Exhibit A
As you can plainly see if you compare previously posted photos with this one, this is a picture of the upstairs dance floor of the Dungeon (address:738 Toulouse St, New Orleans, LA).
Defense Exhibit B
Defense Exhibit B is the bridge that approaches the front door of the Dungeon. This is the only photograph I have of the entrance to the dungeon
In Defense Exhibit A, if you look closely you will see a humanoid figure moving much faster than everyone else in the bar and faster than the camera can pick up.
In Defense Exhibit B, you can see a woman standing on the left side of the photo. Behind her is a blur trail in excess of 10 feet. I would also like you to notice that the man standing near her is not as corporeal as you or I (that is a story for a different day).
Whether you call it supernatural or preternatural both photographs show evidence of persons behaving in a manner that you or I am incapable of.
I am certainly glad that these persons are not prone to practical joking or there would be many more heart attacks and mental breakdowns in the town than there are.
I would typically be sitting at the bar sipping on my Coke (surprised? I drank a little when I first got to the city, but soon began toddling tea) and detect an unusual draft. Actually any draft was unusual since there were no windows in the entire structure. I would turn my head and Lydia would be standing there in one of her well outdated dresses (did I mention she smelled distinctly like moth balls?). You know it never occurred to me until just now that I never asked nor heard mentioned anyone’s last name.
I probably should mention that Lydia and Delia were BFFs and when I say F I mean F. They met at a Mardi Gras ball some years back (I didn’t ask) and hit it off immediately. Again, I didn’t know their vampiric status of the time and didn’t ask, being of the opinion what I don’t know I can’t have nightmares about. Lydia was the slighter of the two and tended to get around the dance floor (how shall I put it?) more economically that Delia did. She also enjoyed dancing to the modern death metal that was the mainstay of the bar.
I wish I had a picture of her to show you. She was a very good looking and charismatic woman with blue flecked brown eyes you could fall into and never find your way out. I would always buy her her favorite drink (no not a Bloody Mary!) a sazarak. We would rarely speak, but she would always give me a smile which would make my night every time. I never asked her out but she would invite me when she and Delia would hit the town. There was always a great time to be had. They both had a great sense of humor. We would laugh for hours.
French Quarter bars, pubs and eateries all had the same closing time, when ever the crowd thinned out enough you could talk across the room. This always happened before sunrise. We would say our good-byes and head for home. While they had spent much time in my apartment I was never invited to theirs. I figured it wasn’t cool to have guys over at their apartment. Some places were like that.
A shame those good times had to end.