Dwell With the Lamb - a New Quest

[Sorry to those of you who don't like cliffhangers. It's getting on toward noon on the west coast of the U.S. So I've got to blog it as is. Somehow I wrote 800 words and didn't say a thing. Maybe I should get a job as a political speech writer. If I finish the scene soon enough I'll amend the post and let you all know.]

Benjamin hadn’t seen the shaman that saved him since his return to the reservation. He relished the thought of being able to thank her in his own voice.

Rebecca drove him out to the old trailers that most of them used as hunting cabins, but the shaman had made it her home. Benjamin watched the cloud of dust the old truck raised as it drove over the dry riverbed used as a road in the summer.
Benjamin knew that Rebecca came this way many times a week to ensure that the two orphans that lived there permanently had food and water, as well as schooling them. That was why she had been there the first day he returned. He also knew there was always a tribal woman there to take care of them. He had ridden along with Rebecca several times on her treks there. He came along for the ride and to visit the forest he had lived in for so long. He never thought they would be making the trip solely for him.He didn’t know what to expect when word passed to him that the shaman wanted to see him. But he had heard much about her in the days he had spent as a human. Most of his friends had told him she was evil and did spooky things. He knew another side of her if there were two sides of her and not just the ramblings of ignorance inventing a fearsome woman where none existed.
When they arrived Rebecca squeezed his hand and smiled as she opened the truck door. Benjamin smiled a hesitant smile, as he was unsure of himself and unsure of the situation. He inquired around as to where the shaman was. A rough old man in an ancient cowboy hat pointed to the forest and said, “She went into the forest early this morning.”
Benjamin’s heart beat loud in his ears. He would have to revisit the places he had been as a wolf. He rustled up his courage and with a huge sigh walked into the forest. The forest floor was replete with pine needles requiring a good eye to follow the shaman’s tracks. Benjamin’s wolf eyes were well trained in tracking even though he used scent most often to track. The ability of his wolf eyes had carried over to his human eyes. There was a faint lingering scent but his nose was not sensitive enough to discern a path, so he had to rely solely on his eyes which slowed him down.
What seemed to Benjamin to be several hours he came to a rocky clearing with a dusty game trail meandering though it. He bent down and examined one of the shaman’s tracks. She had passed this way less than two minutes before. As he hunched over the track he became aware of an animal scent. He judged by his depleted sense of smell that the animal was very near. He heard a growl from just above his head on the boulder to his right. He knew that growl well. He knew his human body could not fight the coyote, nor could he outrun it. He wracked his brain for a possible alternatives to what was sure to become a deadly encounter. The only item he had available for his defense was a knife sheathed to his belt. In his mind he could count the number of bites and tears he would sustain before he would be able to kill the beast. It was not hopeful. His best chance lay in doing the unexpected.
With out a wind up he leapt upwards and grabbed the coyote by the throat and slammed it to the ground on its back. He pressed his chest against the animal’s front legs and pressed hard on his neck. His side was being raked hard by the coyote’s rear toenails, his jacket absorbed most of the scratching. But the coyote was whining through its constricted windpipe and was close to death.
He lost his grip on the coyote’s throat and its back legs stopped defending itself. The coyote was changing shape under his hands. Benjamin was baffled. Where the coyote once was now lay the shaman coughing and choking.
“Good job, Benjamin,” the shaman croaked though her coughing.
“How did you do that? How did you become a coyote? Was it a hallucination?”
“No, Benjamin, I didn’t tell you the complete truth when I was telling you about spirit animals. Some people like me have mastered a skill of metamorphing ourselves into an animal that is of the nature of our spirit guides. My spirit guide happens to be Iceye’ye. As difficult as the trickster is at times, I always try to keep in mind he is the creator of Nimi’ipuu, the people. He is cunning, wise, and a pain in the butt.”
“Thank you for saving me from my animal prison.”
“Pshaw. I’ll accept the thanks, knowing how it has changed your life, but I have to admit I didn’t do it purely for you. I had my own agenda. I was losing young hopefuls to video games, girls, and cars. Not necessarily in that order of course. I needed to get you back to quell the fear of tradition. This generation of the Nimi’ipuu can ill afford to lose the past. It makes us what we are and teaches us better ways to live.”
“Well regardless of your motives you saved me and I am grateful.”
“You might want to hold off on praising me. I’ve got a task for you and you probably won’t like it.

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Dwell With the Lamb - Mother's Meals

Benjamin had a smile on his face for the first time since he was back. He had found himself thanks to his father. He not only could remember things that had been forgotten, he could express anything he thought. He felt free for the first time since turning into a human.

Not everything he remembered was good. He just felt good about remembering them. He remembered how his parents would argue over how to raise him. He remembered how difficult it was to live within two cultures. One on life-support the other foreign and unfriendly. That was not only a conundrum within himself, but was the recurrent theme of his parents arguing. His mother argued for a Christian life among the white man. His father argued that to lose the past was to lose who they were. He could only imagine what they fought about after he disappeared during his vision quest.

But his father had healed him using Indian medicine. Benjamin doubted there was white man medicine that could have cured him.

His family was at the dinner table, a great meal set before them. His mother said they should have a celebration. Benjamin wondered how they could afford such a meal.

“What are you thinking about, Benjamin?” his mother asked, “You seem to be lost in your own world.”

“Nothing really, mother, just taking in this sumptuous meal.”

“You deserve so much more, like the prodigal son. Which truly you are.

“It’s just fabulous that you can talk again. Now it can be like it used to be”

Benjamin had doubts about that. Too much had changed in him. Too much had changed for his parents. They weren’t the same people. They acted different than they had before he had left. He had learned so much abut life that he could not express to them as it had happened to his wolf-self and there were no human words that could describe his thoughts and feelings of his life as a wolf.

He had learned not to gag on the burnt meat his mother served and was beginning to actually have a taste for it. He took a bite of the turkey his mother had cooked for him. He had some trouble with the vegetables not being used to them yet. The red jiggling thing on his plate had him baffled. It did look like meat or vegetable so he avoided it.Partially to distract himself from the odd items on his plate and partly to satisfy his curiosity he spoke up.

“What was it like for you two when I didn’t return?”

His father spoke up, “It was terrible at first. Your mother was inconsolable. I felt so lost. Once you were gone for a week, because all those before you have returned within a week, all the men searched for you. The hunters who are very good at tracking picked up your trail, but tracing week old tracks was difficult for all of us. It took us three days to track what we thought were your prints to a large meadow where your tracks mixed with a very large wolf. Some say they saw the wolf in the trees across the meadow and claimed he was a giant. Your tracks ended there but we crossed ten mies all around that site in hopes of finding more tracks and found none.

"It was odd that there were no bones, but with a wolf that large we figured he had crushed your bones and ate them. The men gave up but I continued to search for an entire year but found no other traces of you. I finally gave you up for lost or dead.

“You were our only child and we were too old to have another child. We were both devastated. We thought our son, who we loved beyond measure, was gone for good. And we mourned for you until the day you returned.”

Benjamin was caught up in a memory of a group of humans gathering around his boulder as he watched from the other side of the meadow.

“That large wolf had to be me. I didn’t recognize any scents when I came back later to investigate.”

He was going to add that he recognized many of the scents of the people he had met, including his father, but he figured they wouldn’t understand. Humans don’t appear to have the same ability to distinguish scents like he could, even today, and to call attention to that might upset his mother.

“Looking back,” his father said with pride in his voice, “it appears you made as good a wolf as you do an Indian.”

Benjamin smiled and returned his attention to his plate. The discussion had left him with an uneasy feeling that he couldn’t quite put a finger on. Maybe it was nothing, but he needed to take his time and review what was said. Maybe he still wasn’t getting all the human words right.

He thought about Rebecca and wondered once again about her strange reactions to him. What was she thinking? Was it interest in him as a mate or that of a playmate? She wasn’t clear about anything and her scents were undefinable. He did know that his heart beat a strange pattern when she was near him. He didn’t know if the signal from his body was a positive thing or a negative thing. He did not remember having those feelings before the vision quest.

Dwell With the Lamb - Father Heals

Benjamin was watching television, his favorite pastime as it allowed him to access a wide variety of human interaction in hope of gleaning enough information to understand his new world.

 His father walked into the living room and asked, “Benjamin, may I talk with you for a little while?”

Benjamin nodded his head and turned off the T.V. With the remote control, another human magic he had just learned to accept.

Joseph pulled a chair opposite Benjamin and sat down. He grasped Benjamin’s hands in his and stare into his eyes. Joseph’s dark eyes were pools of ink to Benjamin. His hands were warm but dessicated like stiff old leather. He smelled like a father should smell in Benjamin’s mind, a hint of wild herbs and dried sweat. Joseph squeezed Benjamin’s hands so tight as to feel uncomfortable to him.

“Benjamin,” Joseph said, “it has been enough time now. I understand that your thoughts have been mixed up for a long time, but time has passed. You have been among your people long enough now that you know our words again. You were always slow to speak allowing others their words first. That was not wrong, it was just your way.

“But, your silent time has reached its end. It is time for you to retake your position among the people. In order to do that you must speak. The words are there let your voice open and release those thoughts.”

Joseph placed one hand hard over Benjamin’s throat. His hand, that was warm in Benjamin’s hand, became a flame of heat on his throat. Benjamin’s eyes darted left and right as fear rose within him. The burning increased as it rose upward inside Benjamin’s head generating a conflagration within his mind.

“Now, Benjamin, remember your human tongue!”

Benjamin had never experiencing fear like this before. He felt trapped, unable to do his own bidding, only look into his father’s eyes and feel the fire within him.

Then came a moment when the heat dissipated. And Benjamin felt a connection from his thoughts to his throat he didn’t remember ever feeling before.

“Father,” it came out more like a frog’s croak than a word, but it issued from Benjamin’s mouth.

His father pulled him to him and hugged him tight and shouted, “Thank God, your voice has been healed by his power!”

Ben’s voice gained strength and vibrancy as he spoke, “I am thankful, father, for your healing hand. I don’t understand how, but I understand that you wanted to help me to regain my voice. I have had many words in my head I have been unable to express. So many thoughts for so long. From the day I became human to today.”

Benjamin hugged his father with all the love and unspoken affection he had held within him.

“Benjamin, it wasn’t I who restored your voice, I was just the vehicle. God, in his infinite mercy has deemed that your voice should return. You should give all praises to him.”

“I don’t understand this God you speak of, but I do understand the love of a father toward his son and his desire to have him a whole being, and I am grateful to you for your gift.”

Benjamin’s mother walked in the front door with her hands full of groceries, grousing about something under her breath.

Benjamin stood and said, “Mother, I can talk now.”

His mother’s full load of groceries hit the floor with a loud crash of cans and bottles.

She ran to her son and hugged him so tight he lost his air.

“Thank God, Thank God,” She repeated over and over again.

As her voice trailed off, she looked down at her husband and sniffed the air.

“Joseph, why? Old Indian cures are hogwash and you know it, yet you apply your superstitious nonsense on your own son. Some of those so called cures were methods of death, and yet you risk your own son to the old ways!”

“You can’t argue with success. God, through the tribal cure has made our son whole again.”

“I say he chose to heal him of his own accord, showed him his infinite mercy, and removed the torturous method of the old way.”

Benjamin sensed that they were traveling old ground from which they had never found an exit and remained silent.

His mother gave him a kiss on his cheek and began picking up the spilled groceries. His father grasped Benjamin’s hands and gave him a big smile. Benjamin noticed his father’s once dry hands were now damp and hot.

Dwell With the Lamb - Church

Benjamin had no idea what to expect today. His father was driving his mother and him to church. His mother had tried to explain what it was about but he couldn’t comprehend. He had no point of reference with which to compare it.

He limited himself to enjoying the car ride. Watching the world go by at incredible speeds. It was an exhilarating experience each and every time he rode in a car. It was even more exhilarating to sit in the back seat. He wasn’t distracted by the talking going on in the front seat and the angle he had of the land passing by made him feel he was racing over the landscape at amazing speeds.

He wasn’t happy about the clothes his mother chose for him to wear. The thing around his neck threatened to choke him and he tugged and tugged at the noose trying to loosen it so he could get a full breath of air.

He was in awe of the ornate building in which they were seated. So much to see it overwhelmed his recently reacquired human senses. When the congregation began singing Benjamin wanted to add his howl to the mix, but realized no one else was howling like he would have and in his shyness he unknowingly averted an unwanted attention getter.

The pastor exhorted on Matthew 5:43, within the midst of the Sermon on the Mount, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Benjamin understood exactly what he was saying and wondered why within this large book the pastor chose only these words to speak about. He wondered who this Jesus person was and why the man was repeating his words and explaining what he meant.

Benjamin’s understanding was limited to the words as spoken and not their application in his life. As a wolf, he understood that sometimes vengeance was delayed but never forgotten. How could one not deal out retribution on someone who hurt a member of his family? He decided that, while the words were beautiful, they could not be applied to his enemies. They had killed his family without reason and did not deserve his love, only death. His anger was overwhelming and he was not able to enjoy the music that was sung afterward. He followed his parents to their car deep in thought. His mother spoke to him but he did not hear what she said and she didn’t appear to need a response from him. He remained in his deep meditation.

Dwell With the Lamb – Cattlemen Encounter (cont)

[only about 200 more words but you get introduced to Maya Blackfeather, Benjamin's mother.]

“I don’t know what’s got into you, Benjamin,” Rebecca focus was split between keeping the truck on the dirt road and Benjamin’s attitude, “You’re not a wolf now. As a wolf I’m sure you could fight them, at least one at a time. But you barely have control of your human body. You still are doing things like a wolf. I heard you growling at them as they left. They would have wiped the floor with you, Benjamin.”

Benjamin sat bouncing as Rebecca drove through the many ruts in the road caused by flash flooding. He began to cool down and listen to her.

“They rule us in town. If we press charges against them the judges throw out the cases as unjustified. The white man has control everywhere except on the reservation.

”Don’t get me wrong. There are many Nez Perce that live among the white man, all over the world, but here locally is the only place I know that we have trouble and it is mostly that group of ruffians that drive the opinions of the townspeople and hassle us.”

She turned onto turned onto the paved road that was the main road to the housing area and pulled up to Benjamin’s house. She helped Benjamin carry the many bags they had accumulated while shopping into the house.

“Where have you been?” Maya Blackfeather was by no means happy with her arms crossed and a deep frown.

“We went to town to buy clothes for Benjamin. His old ones were too small for him.”

“You should have asked me before taking him among the white men. You could have gotten him into big trouble.”

“We’re fine, Maya, nothing happened,” Rebecca said, not mentioning the confrontation with the men.

Benjamin grabbed Rebecca by the shoulders and rubbed his cheek against hers. He could feel the goose bumps rise on her skin and the warm breath she exhaled into his ear. He backed off, picked up the packages and went upstairs to his room.

Dwell With the Lamb - In Town & Cattlemen Encounter

[Surprise! I got into a creative mode yesterday and couldn't escape, so in addition to my short story work I added to the novel. The first part in italics I already shared. The new stuff is at the bottom in normal text. Sorry it's not a lot but it rounds out the scene which ended quicker than expected and runs right into the beginning of the next which I think is kind of an interesting conflict brewing.]


Benjamin tried to keep up with Rebecca, but the multitude of people walking in the opposite direction kept bumping into him. Rebecca grasped his his hand and forced him behind her letting her spread the wave of pedestrian traffic which was much more accommodating to the beautiful young woman.

Benjamin tried to resist the embarrassment he felt at being lead a by a woman. Suddenly she made a left hand turn and pulled him into a clothing store.

“We’ve got to find some clothes for you for all occasions.”

Benjamin was overwhelmed with the vast array of textiles that assaulted his eyes. He couldn’t focus on anything and he had a strong urge to run. But Rebecca was still gripping his hand and her calm demeanor helped him to relax somewhat.

He focused his attention on just a single item a rough looking gray thing that smelled of sheep with a dark zig-zag pattern all over the item.

Rebecca asked, “Do you like that sports coat? It’s herringbone. Looks like wool,” she grabbed the coat and examined the label.

“Yep, wool. Want to try it on?”

Benjamin shrugged his shoulders, a gesture he had learned recently that expressed non-commitment in response to a request.

Rebecca held the coat up against his chest, the hanger uncomfortably in his face, “Not bad. I think it should fit. Try it on.”

She removed the hanger, which surprised Benjamin. He had thought the hanger was part of this clothing.

She handed the coat to him. The look of confusion on his face was enough for Rebecca to take back the coat, “Hold out one arm.”

They went through the process of dressing Benjamin with Rebecca’s assistance.

“That fits perfect and you look good in it. Sophisticated.”

“Can I help you?” the nasal voice came from a very thin older lady dressed in a smock the the name of the store embroidered on it.

“I think we are doing fine by ourselves, ma’am.

“Do you have money?” she asked rudely.

Rebecca sighed and pulled a credit card out of her purse and handed it to the clerk. The clerk walked back to the front of the store. Benjamin had stared at the woman wondering if she belonged to the tribe that killed his family.

Rebecca, grabbed his arm, “Don’t worry, Benjamin. We get treated this way often in town. It is our own fault. Or I should say some members of our tribe are at fault for stealing, drinking and causing trouble in town. You learn to accept it.”

The woman returned and handed the card back to Rebecca, not saying a word and left to assist a white woman who had entered the store.

They ran into a logistical problem when it came to pants, but eventually Rebecca got across the message that he needed to put them on in the little rooms with the curtains.

When they sat down for lunch at an outdoor Mexican cafe they had several large bags full of clothes.

“You do understand what I say, right?” Rebecca asked.

Benjamin nodded, then took a bite of his burrito. He enjoyed the many different flavors that human food had. He liked eating just for the sake of tasting, not just to fill his belly.

“Do you remember me from before your spirit walk?”

Benjamin shook his head.

“We… we were friends. Good friends. Maybe more than friends. Do you understand?”

Benjamin shook his head.

“We cared about each other a lot. I don’t really know how to say this. Things have turned out so wrong. So difficult for me to comprehend the changes. When you were gone we mourned your loss. We thought you were taken by a wild animal. Your father never gave up hope. He said you could take down any animal even with your bare hands. But the rest of us were realistic. If you were okay you would have returned like the rest. I didn’t know what to do. I thought we would be together. I never thought about anyone else, even after.”

Benjamin just stared at her watching tears streaking her face.

“And now you are back. I am so happy you are back. But, I don’t know how you feel. I don’t know what you are thinking. You are different in some ways… but I still love you.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Rebecca stood up and ran to the bathroom. Benjamin just watched her go and ate his burrito. He wondered why it was so hard to see. His eyes were filled with unshed tears.

***

He heard a loud voice behind him on the street, “Do you smell that? What is that God awful smell?”

He heard several men laughing. He turned to look. There were seven of them.
“Oh I see it now. It’s that Injun. I guess they don’t have water on the reservation.”
The man was staring into Benjamin’s eyes, “Do you have scissors? You need to cut that stinkin’ hair too.”
Benjamin sniffed the air. The men all laughed again.
The same man asked, “What’s the matter? Can’t you smell your own stink?”
Benjamin knew these men. Even though he couldn’t smell as well as he used to, he knew their scents. These were the ones.
He stood and faced them returning their angry stare.
“Oh ho, looks like we got an uppity Injun here. You going to start an uprising are you?”
The men all clenched their fists and moved in closer.
Rebecca interrupted the stand-off, “What is going on here?” She yelled, “You men have better things to do than fight with a boy! Go on! Leave us alone!”
The men backed down, opening their fists. The leader turned away and gestured with his hand like there was nothing there worth thinking about and they all walked away.
“What’s the matter with you? Rebecca asked Benjamin, “Do you have a death wish? They would have hurt you bad, maybe even killed you. They are bad men and they love to fight with the people of our tribe.

Dwell With the Lamb - A Human

[Returning to my WIP. The beginning of this scene is the first snippet I wrote. My method of dealing with a new idea is to first deal with proof of concept and getting a feel for my ability to write the subject effectively and my enthusiasm for the concept. If either fail I put the idea on the back burner.]



The heat of the afternoon was blowing in on a gentle breeze that barely ruffled his mottled, glossy, and thinning coat. The temperature was warm for an early spring day. He stood on an escarpment of dark gray cracked granite jutting from the peak of the bare knoll on the edge of the forest. The color of his fur blended well with the granite making him invisible to prey and foe alike. The huge beast lifted his snout to sample the wafting air. A cornucopia of information flooded his brain creating a landscape of smells. The accuracy of his sense of smell was better than his eyesight which was limited to what was in front of him, which in this case was for the most part forest.

Everything smelled as the wolf expected, There were a few insignificant details that he noted for later like the rabbit’s nest that was closest to his spot was empty, but he could smell succulent young rabbits wandering with their mother in the valley below, no doubt, looking for new shoots that appear after a rain as long as the one that passed through two days earlier.

He made a quick visual scan of the distant craggy snow-covered mountains and then turned and trotted down the knoll. It was time to refresh the no trespassing signs once again.

As he followed his own scent around his perimeter, his jaw hanging open and tongue lolling to cool his svelte body, he pondered once more how he would avenge his family. Thoughts that came unbidden over took his mind once more. He was not a lone wolf, he was an avenger wolf. He would find a way. They would pay for what they did. Each one, whose scent was memorized in his mind, would pay with their life.

He stopped dead in his tracks, an unknown scent ahead. He always moved toward the blowing wind both to mask his own scent and alert him to the presence of others and this unusual scent put him on full alert. He eased himself into a gap between two boulders where the tall brown grasses acted as a shield and lowered his body into his hunting position. This provided for concealment and wound his body like a spring so he could lunge whenever necessary either at prey or intruder or off and away should the danger be too great for him, a rare occurrence. The scent was human, but not one of the cattlemen. Still his heart rate increased as the woman passed by his hiding spot. That a human would be so deep within the woods intrigued him. That she didn’t smell wrong confused him.

He leaped out from hiding bounding well beyond the faint trail and moved down toward the river where he could parallel her from a concealing distance. She appeared to be oblivious to her surroundings and made a considerable racket as she moved down the game trail. He followed her to the clearing that his pack had used as a resting spot during the spring and summer months once they ceased their nomadic winter foraging.

This place held significance for the wolf beyond its utilitarian facet. It was where he had first spotted his eventual mate as she and her pack scampered through his claimed territory. He had always been tolerant of roving packs, allowing them to hunt in his area so long as they continued on in a timely manner. He had been laying atop a large rock allowing it to cool his body after a long chase.

When he saw the female he felt something inside that felt good and right. Without a thought he sat up, lifted his head to the heavens and let out the most melodic, mournful, and lonely howl a wolf had ever uttered.

The female stopped immediately and looked at him expectantly. The loner stopped and approached the female. They introduced themselves to each other and th female returned to the pack which moved to a pine tree with a low over hanging branch and settled down to rest. The female kept looking over at the lone wolf on the rock.

The woman stopped at that very same rock. She studied the ground with a professional air. She climbed the steep ground up to the top of the rock and again stopped and studied the ground. She lifted her head and looked around at the surroundings. She had a wolf’s eye he thought. Best to stay at a good distance.

The woman climbed down from the rock and began to gather stones using her skirt as a basket. Once she appeared satisfied she sat down among a group of smaller rocks large enough to conceal her completely from above, but left her exposed to the lower land. After arranging the stones in a circle she arose and headed to the river. The wolf had to scramble to stay out of her way. She filed several gourds she had hanging from her ample waist and on the way back up toward her camp she picked up fallen branches and pine straw until her arms were overloaded with wood. She set the wood aside and placed pine straw and kindling in the stone circle. After which she sat cross legged and closed her eyes and began humming. Soon the humming became a howl. A howl to draw a pack together. It struck the lone wolf in the heart and he wanted to approach. His wolf sense convinced him that she was a danger no matter what his body was feeling.

They both sat motionless for several hours. But as the sun went down the woman stopped howling and lit the fire she had built in front of her. She took dried herbs and sprinkled the fire creating a dance of colors.

The wolf found it difficult to not look at the fire, but he know if he looked at the fire his eyes would shine in the dark revealing him in his hiding place.